I can tell that Danica’s group is learning a lot about feelings. Lately, she has been analyzing the feelings of the characters on her television shows in her books. When she does something she isn’t supposed to do, I tell her, “mommy is not happy”, and that really seems to help. Daddy has a stern voice when he tells her no, so he doesn’t have to explain his emotions clearly (she knows). For example, she is on her own in gymnastics now. Daddy picks her up from preschool and takes her, while I meet them there after a class/run at the gym. When she sees me, she leaves her group (to come to me). Once Daddy leaves us (to go to the gym), she leaves her group several times. She always has to go to the bathroom or get a drink of water, or my favorite, “I want mommy to hold me.” But she’s missing class time and I try to be firm, but it doesn’t work. Daddy suggested he stay, because “she doesn’t do that” if he’s there. He says she knows she can manipulate me. LOL!
Tables are turned at bedtime, though. I’m the stern one- or so I thought. When I am reading the last book for the night, I warn Danica. She begins calling for Daddy to lay down with her because she knows I’m getting ready to turn off the light. She only wants him because she knows he will play with her. I encourage him to come for a few minutes. The lights go out and they play for a bit. But when he leaves, I have to turn on the “stern mommy” voice to get Danica to sleep. This method has worked for us for a long time. Last night, it took longer than I could afford. I really needed to do a few more things before I went to bed, but she wouldn’t go to sleep. She wanted water, wanted a pull-up change, wanted a different blanket, wanted her bunny, and wanted another song. Time was getting away (10:00 p.m. by now and we start at 9:00 p.m.), so I told her I was going to leave the room if she would not go to sleep. A few more manipulations led me to walk out. I didn’t even get out of the room before she started crying. I tried letting her “cry it out”, but I couldn’t do it. I went back to that room and told her, “I am not happy” and explained to her that it was really late and time to go night-night. She responded with, “you hurt my feelings because you leave me”. Those words crushed me. I hugged her and kissed her, told her I was sorry, and tried to explain again that it was time to go night-night. She asked me not to leave her. I held her and waited for her to fall asleep. When I got up, it was 10:45 p.m.
Getting her to sleep used to be so easy. Believe me, I’m a huge advocate of Baby Wise and could be the poster mommy for it. It was that easy when she was a baby. But she has turned tables on me and will now do ANYTHING to get out of sleeping. It’s time to make a change. I’m woman enough to admit when it’s time for reinforcement. I think I’ll ask Daddy to read books tonight.
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